COMMUNICATION
“Quality of Life Series”
3/9/04
LEADER READ: “Communication”
That was the woman's problem who went to a lawyer to talk about getting a divorce. The lawyer started to ask her some routine questions. "What are your grounds?" he asked. "Well, we have this great big farm." He thought he would try a different angle. "Do you have some sort of grudge?" "No, he never built one, and we have to park outside." The lawyer was beginning to get exasperated by now and he said, "Well, does he beat you up?" "Are you kidding?" she answered, "I get up two hours before he does." Thoroughly riled now, the lawyer bellowed, "Look, lady, why do you want to divorce him?" "Because I can never carry on an intelligent conversation with that man!"
LEADER: Dale Carnegie says: There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.
http://www.cybernation.com/victory/quotations/subjects/quotes_communication.html
Contributed by Ssgt. Lynda C. Lovell, Reader’s Digest, July 1997, p. 139
http://www.bible.org/illus/c/c-93.htm#TopOfPage
During an important military exercise, another Air Force member and I were working in a radar van under a simulated attack. We were under strict orders not to open the door unless we received the secret code, which we had been given at the morning briefing. Later in the day, we heard knocking at the door. Remembering our orders, I yelled out “Fort” and waited for the correct response, “Knox.” It never came. Several minutes later we heard more knocking, but again we didn’t receive the proper response.
Over the course of the afternoon, various others came to the door and knocked, but no one gave us the correct password. Proud of ourselves for not being tricked into opening up to the enemy, we later received a phone call from a furious superior officer who told us to open the door immediately. After we explained that we were simply following orders, he informed us that the code was not “Fort Knox,” but four knocks.
LEADER: HOW DO YOU COMMUNICATE?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #1
http://www.cybernation.com/victory/quotations/subjects/quotes_communication.html
“Two monologues do not make a dialogue.”
Jeff Daly, Actor, Writer, Improviser
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #2
http://www.bible.org/illus/c/c-93.htm#TopOfPage
“Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.”
Margaret Millar
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #3
http://www.cybernation.com/victory/quotations/subjects/quotes_communication.html
“The art of conversation consist as much in listening politely, as in talking agreeably.”
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #4
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“Good, the more communicated, more abundant grows.”
John Milton, 1608-1674, British Poet
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #5
http://www.cybernation.com/victory/quotations/subjects/quotes_communication.html
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
Anthony Robbins, Motivational Speaker
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #6
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”
Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, American Author, Trainer
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #7
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_communication.html
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
Rubyard Kipling, Author “The Jungle Book”
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #8
http://www.quotationspage.com/subjects/communication/
“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Charles Lindbergh’s wife…
From her Best Seller 'Gift From the Sea'
LEADER READ: “Most Important Words” http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermon.asp?SermonID=56283&ContributorID=31
Victor Yap riversidealliance.com
(Speaker’s Library of Business of Stories, Anecdotes and Humor)
n It’s been said that the six most important words in communications and human relations are “I admit that I was wrong.?
n Counting down, the five most important words are “You did a great job.?
n The four most important words are “What do you think??
n The three most important word are “May I help??
n The two most important words are “Thank you.?
n The most important word is “we?
n And the least important word in any language is “I.?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Proverbs 11:25
A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #9
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”
Anthony Robbins, 1960-, American Author, Speaker,
Peak Performance Expert / Consultant
LEADER: Are you choosing the right words?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: “Sam Goldwyn”
Bits and Pieces, December, 1989, pp. 12-13
http://www.bible.org/illus/c/c-93.htm#TopOfPage
Sam Goldwyn, the movie producer, used to mangle the English language so badly that his malaprops and mixed metaphors came to be known as Goldwynisms. Some that have become classics are...
· A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
· Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is named William.
· Now, gentlemen, listen slowly.
· For your information, I would like to ask a question.
· Include me out.
· Don’t talk to me while I’m interrupting.
· I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #10
http://www.cybernation.com/victory/quotations/subjects/quotes_communication.html
“Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.”
Jr. Teague, North Carolina State Legistlator
http://www.bible.org/illus/c/c-93.htm#TopOfPage Contributed by Carl M. Tucker
I was an air-traffic controller stationed at Selfridge Air National Guard Base in Michigan. One morning we picked up a Montana National Guard passenger aircraft. Instead of identifying the plane by its five-digit tail number, its pilot radioed, “Selfridge Approach, this is Pig Sty One.” As we were taught to refer to aircraft by whatever call sign the pilot used, the controller thereafter called the craft “Pig Sty One.” Just after touching down, the pilot contacted the tower.
“Selfridge,” he said, “our call sign is not ‘Pig Sty one.” It is ‘Big Sky One,’ and we have the governor of Montana on board!”
http://www.ozsermonillustrations.com/illustrations/wellington_defeated.htm
It is said that on the evening of June 18, 1815 a man stood in the tower of England's Winchester Cathedral gazing anxiously out to sea. At last he found what he was looking for - a ship sending a signal by use of lights. He strained to see the message. All of England held its breath with him, wanting to know the outcome of the war between their military leader, the Duke of Wellington, and the French dictator Napoleon Bonaparte. Bonaparte, who had once ruled all of Europe bar England remained a threat, and now the decisive Battle of Waterloo had been fought.
So, as he stood in the tower of Winchester Cathedral our man waited to relay the news that would determine England's future. The signal came just as a heavy fog was rolling in. It only just got through, but how he wished it hadn't, for the signal read: "Wellington defeated"
The man signaled to other stations and the news spread across the countryside, bringing great gloom and sadness. But then a great reversal. The fog lifted, and the message was sent again, this time in full: "Wellington defeated the enemy". Joy? Happiness? Delirium! Wellington had won!
On Good Friday it seemed the message was "Christ defeated", but three days later we discover that the message had not been receive din full. The resurrection reverses what we initially thought and declares "Christ defeated the enemy!"
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #11
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.”
Peter F. Drucker, 1909-, American Management Consultant, Author
LEADER: Are people hearing what you are intending?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #12
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Source unknown
Family Survival in the American Jungle, Steve Farrar, 1991, Multnomah Press, p. 75
J. Edgar Hoover ran the FBI, no question about it. As a result, almost all of his subordinates were on the lookout for ways to impress their powerful boss. A young FBI man was put in charge of the FBI’s supply department. In an effort to cut some costs and impress his boss, he reduced the size of the office memo paper. One of the new memo sheets soon ended up on Hoover’s desk. Hoover took one look at it, determined he didn’t like the size of the margins on the paper, and quickly scribbled on the memo, “Watch the borders!”
The memo was passed on through the office. For the next six weeks, it was extremely difficult to enter the United States by road from either Mexico or Canada. The FBI was watching the borders.
Why was the FBI watching the borders? They thought they had received a warning from their chief. But they hadn’t. They had transformed an innocuous comment into a solemn warning.
LEADER READ: “The Wood Burning Stove” Rubel Shelly EXCERPT
http://www.sermonillustrator.org
Communication is a wonderful thing - when it happens. But there are so many barriers. Each of us brings baggage to every situation. Words can be vague or carry very different nuances for people of dissimilar backgrounds. Then there are the prejudices and blind spots all of us have.
Lots of confusion will be eliminated and far more progress made this week by following this simple rule: When something isn't clear, ask. Don't assume. Don't guess. Don't gamble. Swallow your pride and say, "I'm not sure I understand. Do you mind explaining?"
This simple strategy could save you embarrassment, time, and money. More important still, it might even save some of your life's most important relationships.
LEADER: Are you communicating honesty?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #13
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882, American Poet, Essayist
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #14
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_communication.html
“Lying is done with words and also with silence “
Adrienne Rich, 1929 Poet Orator
LEADER: How does communication affect your business?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #15
http://www.cybernation.com/victory/quotations/subjects/quotes_communication.html
“For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men look into your mind. Do they see it well clothed, neat, business-wise?”
Bruce Burton, Senior Lecturer Business Finance
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #16
http://www.quotationspage.com/subjects/communication/
“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.”
William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939) One of the greatest English-language poets of the 20th century. Yeats received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1923.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #17
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.”
Washington Irving, 1783-1859, American Author
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #18
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively, but says nothing.”
Henry S. Haskins
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #19
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_communication.html
“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd President, United State
LEADER READ: “Non-verbal Communication”
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
Use non-verbal communication to SOFTEN the hard-line position of others:
S = Smile
O = Open Posture
F = Forward Lean
T = Touch
E = Eye Contact
N = Nod.
LEADER: “Actions Speak Loudly” by Paul Fritz EXCERPT
http://www.sermoncentral.com/print_friendly.asp?ContributorID=&SermonID=27391
Many people are searching for the solution to the problem of interpersonal communications. It may be safe to say that the single biggest problem of communications is rooted in the reality that some people’s actions speak so loudly others cannot hear what they are saying.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #20
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“Get in touch with the way the other person feels. Feelings are 55% body language, 38% tone and 7% words.”
Source Unknown
LEADER: How does communication affect your family?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: “Make Time to Communicate”
Impact, Butterick Pub. Co., quoted in Family Life Today, June, 1989
Married couples spend an average of 27.5 minutes per week talking to each other, according to Ray Bridwhistell, speech communication expert. TV viewing (46 hours per week), children, household chores, social obligations, and working wives are the reasons for this lack of communication between spouses.
With one in four young people now indicating that they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father, is it any wonder that 76 percent of the 1,200 teens surveyed in USA Today actually want their parents to spend more time with them?
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #21
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“Communication is depositing a part of your self in another person.”
Source Unknown
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #22
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_communication.html
“Argument is the worst sort of conversation. “
Jonathan Swift 1667-1745,
Author best known for “Gulliver’s Travels”
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #23
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_communication.html
One of the basic causes for all the trouble in the world today is that people talk too much and think too little. They act impulsively without thinking. I always try to think before I talk.
Senator Margaret Chase Smith
First woman to have her name placed in nomination for the presidency by either of the two major parties. Smith came in second to Barry Goldwater.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #24
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_communication.html
Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.
Rollo May, 1909-1994, Author, Psychotherapist
Communication breakdown is an oft-cited culprit in marital problems. If you sometimes feel your mate just doesn’t understand you (who doesn’t feel that way now and then?), maybe the problem lies in what you’re doing. H. Norman Wright offers 10 tips for talking:
HAVE SOMEONE READ: (LEADER CALL OUT LETTERS)
A. Be a ready listener and do not answer until the other person has finished talking.
B. Be slow to speak. Think first. Don’t be hasty in your words. Speak in such a way that the other person can understand and accept what you say.
C. Speak the truth always, but do it in love. Do not exaggerate.
D. Do not use silence to frustrate your spouse (or children). Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this time.
E. Do not quarrel. It is possible to disagree without quarreling.
F. Do not respond in anger. Use a soft and kind response.
G. When you are in the wrong, admit it and ask your mate for forgiveness. When someone confesses to you, tell them you forgive them. Be sure it is also forgotten and not brought up again.
H. Avoid nagging.
I. Do not blame or criticize the other, but restore them, encourage them and edify them. If someone verbally attacks, criticizes or blames you, do not respond in the same manner.
J. Try to understand the other person’s opinion. Make allowances for differences. Be concerned about your mate’s interests.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Proverbs 18:21
Death and live are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Proverbs 15:4
A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Proverbs 25:11
Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Ephesians 4:29
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: “Mrs. Berle”
http://www.sermoncentral.com/print_friendly.asp?ContributorID=&SermonID=36785
When pointing out a mistake by another person,
always consider the person’s feelings. Milton Berle was dining with his wife,
Ruth, in a Hollywood restaurant. When a waiter put too much pepper on her salad.
Mrs. Berle tasted it and said, "Hmm. Needs more salad."
Source Unknown
LEADER READ: “Keep on Dancing” EXCERPT’
http://www.sermoncentral.com/print_friendly.asp?ContributorID=&SermonID=39735
There is no such thing as
"constructive criticism", criticism is only destructive. When you criticize
others, the intent is to make them feel bad for what they have done. You may
have good motive for your review of the situation, you may think you are
helping, but in reality you are doing more harm than good.
In his book The
Youth Builder, Jim Burns talks about the importance of building up young
people with affirmation and trust. What he says about criticism applies to every
age group: For every critical comment we receive, it takes nine affirming
comments to even out the negative effect in our life. Most young people receive
more critical comments a day than encouraging ones. You can have a very
positive, life transforming effect when you develop a ministry of affirmation.
It is much easier to hurt than it is to heal, yet the power of praising God for
the lives of others can be a valuable mechanism for positive change in their
life, and yours.
You will do so much more for yourself and others when you spend time praising
them, think on the things that are lovely and good.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right , whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: I Corinthians 13:1
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: I Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Hebrews 3:13
Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: 1 Peter 3:10-11
For, the one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #25
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“Your ability to communicate is an important tool in your pursuit of your goals, whether it is with your family, your co-workers or your clients and customers.”
Les Brown, 1945-, American Speaker,
Author, Trainer, Motivator Lecturer
§ What was your first job?
§ What are some things you think have been invented since your parents were young?
§ How did you meet your spouse?
§ What is your favorite movie and why?
§ Favorite vacation or outing?
§ Someone who has influenced your life in a positive way?
§ When did you accept Christ as your Savior?
§ List one goal you’d like to achieve in the next year/10 years. What steps can you take to achieve it? (Be and encourager)
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #26
http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_communication.html
“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.”
Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, Medical Dr. and Best Selling Author
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #27
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“Talk is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing in money, it is all profit, it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any state of health.”
Robert Louis Stevenson, 1850-1895, Scottish Essayist, Poet, Novelist
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #28
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“The ability to express an idea is well nigh as important as the idea itself.”
Bernard M. Baruch, 1870-1965, American Financier
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #29
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of very part of your life.”
Brian Tracy, American Trainer, Speaker, Author, Businessman
HAVE SOMEONE READ: QUOTE #30
http://www.entwagon.com/cgi-bin/quotes/quotes.pl?cat=Communication&id=10
“In the last analysis, what we ARE communicates far more eloquently than anything we SAY.”
Source Unknown
LEADER: If we wish to be a good communicator, what is the first thing we must do?
n Pray about it.
n Seek to honor the Lord with our words.
By John L. Shuler, Signs of the Times, Copyright (c) June 28, 1938, Pacific Press, http://www.pacificpress.com/signs
http://www.sermonillustrator.org/illustrator/sermon2/blessed_nearness.
A new convert in one of Mr. Moody's meetings
came to him, saying, "Mr. Moody, it has been wonderful to be here. If only could
know how to keep this blessed nearness to my Master that I feel just now, I
would be the happiest person in the world."
Mr. Moody looked at her and said: "Sister, I will tell you how to do it: Spend
fifteen minutes every day talking to God in prayer, fifteen minutes every day
letting God talk to you through His Word, and fifteen minutes a day talking
about God to someone else. If you do this, you will feel the same blessed
nearness every day of your life."
LEADER: Praise God for the following attributes:
http://www.sermoncentral.com/print_friendly.asp?ContributorID=&SermonID=37201
CALL 1-10
1. Fills us with joy
2. Faithful to the end
3. Frank and true
4. Friend at all times
5. First and the last
6. Feels our pain
7. Fulfillment and satisfaction
8. Fearful in praises doing wonders
9. Favor giver
10. Fullness of joy in His presence
CALL 11-20
11. Finisher of what He begins
12. Fellowship of the Holy Spirit
13. Fearful One
14. Father who has compassion
15. Feeder of the hungry souls
16. Fearless against all enemies
17. Father over all creation
18. Faithful witness and true
19. Faithful in love, truth and companionship
20. Faith Author and Guider
CALL 21-30
21. Fair One who has the right to what He wants
22. Fragrance of the knowledge of Him in every place
23. Freedom giver and breaker of all bondages
24. Friend from my youth
25. Fortress in whom we take refuge
26. Foundation as the basis for every good construction
27. Foe to the opposers of God’s will
28. Fire that ignites, inspires and inflames
29. Firstborn over all creation
30. Forerunner who went before us entered in on our behalf
CALL 31-40
31. Fountain of living water
32. Frees us from the law through the Spirit
33. Fruit Giver and Pruner
34. Friend of Sinners
35. Fairest of ten thousand
36. Fairest Lord Jesus Ruler of all Nature
37. Father of all
38. Family creator and maintainer
39. Far-sighted as you see the end from the beginning
40. Fervent in passion
CALL 41-50
41. Fighter against all that opposes His kingdom
42. Field owner and harvester
43. Filter of all that is not in His will
44. Finisher
45. Fitter of what is best, right and appropriate
46. Fisher of Men
47. Fixer of broken hearts
48. Focus of all creation
49. Food provider for all who look to you in faith
50. Forbidder by refusing to allow anything not in accordance with Your
will
CALL 51-63
51. Forgiver of our past, present and future sins
52. Forever past and future God
53. Foretaste of glory divine
54. Foreteller of what is to come
55. Forward looking God
56. Fortifier of the weak and vulnerable
57. Fortune owner
58. Finder of the lost and lonely
59. Free to do whatever You want with anyone
60. From You and Through You and To you are all things
61. Fuel at work in us both to will and do of your good pleasure
62. Future knower
63. Furnisher of what is needed
LEADER: How will we honor our Lord who has done so much for us?
LEADER READ: “We’re Live in Five Seconds ---4,3,2,1 EXCERPT
By Jimmy D. Brown dailydevotional@Living4Jesus.com
http://www.sermonillustrator.org/illustrator/sermon6/were_live.htm
Are we pointing others towards Christ with
our tongues? Are we encouraging and edifying those around us? Are we uplifting
and challenging and motivating the folks we meet on a daily basis?
Or, are we doing dishonor to the name of Jesus Christ? Are we discouraging and
tearing down those around us in gossip and hurtful words? Are we poisoning and
abusing those the folks we meet on a daily basis?
You see, our tongues can release honeycomb...
...or they can release poison.
Christian, today folks are going to be listening to what YOU say. Your day
begins again RIGHT NOW. What message will you present with your words.
YOU'RE "LIVE" in 5 seconds...4, 3, 2, 1…
HAVE SOMEONE READ: Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord my rock and my Redeemer.
LEADER: Let’s memorize this verse as our daily prayer for communication:
HAVE EVERYONE REPEAT AFTER YOU:
Let the words of my mouth…
And the meditation of my heart…
Be acceptable in Your sight…
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.
LEADER REPEAT: Your day begins again RIGHT
NOW. What message will you present with your words.
YOU'RE "LIVE" in 5 seconds...4, 3, 2, 1…
COMMENTS IF TIME:
PRAYER REQUESTS AND PRAISES:
CUT AND DISTRIBUTE FOR READING:
During an important military exercise, another Air Force member and I were working in a radar van under a simulated attack. We were under strict orders not to open the door unless we received the secret code, which we had been given at the morning briefing. Later in the day, we heard knocking at the door. Remembering our orders, I yelled out “Fort” and waited for the correct response, “Knox.” It never came. Several minutes later we heard more knocking, but again we didn’t receive the proper response.
Over the course of the afternoon, various others came to the door and knocked, but no one gave us the correct password. Proud of ourselves for not being tricked into opening up to the enemy, we later received a phone call from a furious superior officer who told us to open the door immediately. After we explained that we were simply following orders, he informed us that the code was not “Fort Knox,” but four knocks.
QUOTE #1
“Two monologues do not make a dialogue.”
Jeff Daly, Actor, Writer, Improviser
QUOTE #2
“Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.”
Margaret Millar
QUOTE #3
“The art of conversation consist as much in listening politely, as in talking agreeably.”
QUOTE #4
“Good, the more communicated, more abundant grows.”
John Milton, 1608-1674, British Poet
QUOTE #5
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
Anthony Robbins, Motivational Speaker
QUOTE #6
“The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”
Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, American Author, Trainer
QUOTE #7
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
Rubyard Kipling, Author “The Jungle Book”
QUOTE #8
“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Charles Lindbergh’s wife…
From her Best Seller 'Gift From the Sea'
Proverbs 11:25
QUOTE #9
“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”
Anthony Robbins, 1960-, American Author, Speaker,
Peak Performance Expert / Consultant
“Sam Goldwyn”
Sam Goldwyn, the movie producer, used to mangle the English language so badly that his malaprops and mixed metaphors came to be known as Goldwynisms. Some that have become classics are...
· A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.
· Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is named William.
· Now, gentlemen, listen slowly.
· For your information, I would like to ask a question.
· Include me out.
· Don’t talk to me while I’m interrupting.
· I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong.
QUOTE #10
“Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.”
Jr. Teague, North Carolina State Legistlator
I was an air-traffic controller stationed at Selfridge Air National Guard Base in Michigan. One morning we picked up a Montana National Guard passenger aircraft. Instead of identifying the plane by its five-digit tail number, its pilot radioed, “Selfridge Approach, this is Pig Sty One.” As we were taught to refer to aircraft by whatever call sign the pilot used, the controller thereafter called the craft “Pig Sty One.” Just after touching down, the pilot contacted the tower.
“Selfridge,” he said, “our call sign is not ‘Pig Sty one.” It is ‘Big Sky One,’ and we have the governor of Montana on board!”
It is said that on the evening of June 18, 1815 a man stood in the tower of England's Winchester Cathedral gazing anxiously out to sea. At last he found what he was looking for - a ship sending a signal by use of lights. He strained to see the message. All of England held its breath with him, wanting to know the outcome of the war between their military leader, the Duke of Wellington, and the French dictator Napoleon Bonaparte. Bonaparte, who had once ruled all of Europe bar England remained a threat, and now the decisive Battle of Waterloo had been fought.
So, as he stood in the tower of Winchester Cathedral our man waited to relay the news that would determine England's future. The signal came just as a heavy fog was rolling in. It only just got through, but how he wished it hadn't, for the signal read: "Wellington defeated"
The man signaled to other stations and the news spread across the countryside, bringing great gloom and sadness. But then a great reversal. The fog lifted, and the message was sent again, this time in full: "Wellington defeated the enemy". Joy? Happiness? Delirium! Wellington had won!
On Good Friday it seemed the message was "Christ defeated", but three days later we discover that the message had not been receive din full. The resurrection reverses what we initially thought and declares "Christ defeated the enemy!"
QUOTE #11
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.”
Peter F. Drucker, 1909-, American Management Consultant, Author
QUOTE #12
“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Source unknown
J. Edgar Hoover ran the FBI, no question about it. As a result, almost all of his subordinates were on the lookout for ways to impress their powerful boss. A young FBI man was put in charge of the FBI’s supply department. In an effort to cut some costs and impress his boss, he reduced the size of the office memo paper. One of the new memo sheets soon ended up on Hoover’s desk. Hoover took one look at it, determined he didn’t like the size of the margins on the paper, and quickly scribbled on the memo, “Watch the borders!”
The memo was passed on through the office. For the next six weeks, it was extremely difficult to enter the United States by road from either Mexico or Canada. The FBI was watching the borders.
Why was the FBI watching the borders? They thought they had received a warning from their chief. But they hadn’t. They had transformed an innocuous comment into a solemn warning.
“The Wood Burning Stove” Rubel Shelly EXCERPT
Communication is a wonderful thing - when it happens. But there are so many barriers. Each of us brings baggage to every situation. Words can be vague or carry very different nuances for people of dissimilar backgrounds. Then there are the prejudices and blind spots all of us have.
Lots of confusion will be eliminated and far more progress made this week by following this simple rule: When something isn't clear, ask. Don't assume. Don't guess. Don't gamble. Swallow your pride and say, "I'm not sure I understand. Do you mind explaining?"
This simple strategy could save you embarrassment, time, and money. More important still, it might even save some of your life's most important relationships.
QUOTE #13
“When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882, American Poet, Essayist
QUOTE #14
“Lying is done with words and also with silence “
Adrienne Rich, 1929 Poet Orator
QUOTE #15
“For good or ill, your conversation is your advertisement. Every time you open your mouth you let men look into your mind. Do they see it well clothed, neat, business-wise?”
Bruce Burton, Senior Lecturer Business Finance
QUOTE #16
“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.”
William Butler Yeats (1865 - 1939) One of the greatest English-language poets of the 20th century. Yeats received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1923.
QUOTE #17
“The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.”
Washington Irving, 1783-1859, American Author
QUOTE #18
“The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively, but says nothing.” Henry S. Haskins
QUOTE #19
“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd President, United State
QUOTE #20
“Get in touch with the way the other person feels. Feelings are 55% body language, 38% tone and 7% words.” Source Unknown
“Make Time to Communicate”
Married couples spend an average of 27.5 minutes per week talking to each other, according to Ray Bridwhistell, speech communication expert. TV viewing (46 hours per week), children, household chores, social obligations, and working wives are the reasons for this lack of communication between spouses.
With one in four young people now indicating that they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father, is it any wonder that 76 percent of the 1,200 teens surveyed in USA Today actually want their parents to spend more time with them?
QUOTE #21
“Communication is depositing a part of your self in another person.”
Source Unknown
QUOTE #22
“Argument is the worst sort of conversation. “
Jonathan Swift 1667-1745, Author best known for “Gulliver’s Travels”
QUOTE #23
One of the basic causes for all the trouble in the world today is that people talk too much and think too little. They act impulsively without thinking. I always try to think before I talk.
Senator Margaret Chase Smith
First woman to have her name placed in nomination for the presidency by either of the two major parties. Smith came in second to Barry Goldwater.
QUOTE #24
Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.
Rollo May, 1909-1994, Author, Psychotherapist
A. Be a ready listener and do not answer until the other person has finished talking.
B. Be slow to speak. Think first. Don’t be hasty in your words. Speak in such a way that the other person can understand and accept what you say.
C. Speak the truth always, but do it in love. Do not exaggerate.
D. Do not use silence to frustrate your spouse (or children). Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this time.
E. Do not quarrel. It is possible to disagree without quarreling.
F. Do not respond in anger. Use a soft and kind response.
G. When you are in the wrong, admit it and ask your mate for forgiveness. When someone confesses to you, tell them you forgive them. Be sure it is also forgotten and not brought up again.
H. Avoid nagging.
I. Do not blame or criticize the other, but restore them, encourage them and edify them. If someone verbally attacks, criticizes or blames you, do not respond in the same manner.
J. Try to understand the other person’s opinion. Make allowances for differences. Be concerned about your mate’s interests.
Proverbs 18:21
Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 15:4
Proverbs 25:11
Ephesians 4:29
“Mrs. Berle”
When pointing out a mistake by another person, always consider the person’s feelings. Milton Berle was dining with his wife, Ruth, in a Hollywood restaurant. When a waiter put too much pepper on her salad. Mrs. Berle tasted it and said, "Hmm. Needs more salad." Source Unknown
Philippians 4:8